procrastinator's guide to the falacies

ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH...sounds of anguish.
so in english class we're writing this research paper on renewable energy for arizona. yeah. hardcore. it's pretty much due tomorrow and the rough draft is due tonight...technically at 6 because i go to my dad's house on thursdays and he doesnt have internet. so..yeah. and im probably gonna write it about solar panels.
does arizona have any other resources? wind? cacti? i still can't think of any. so i guess i'll use what everyone else is using. that evil orb of blinding death. EVIL ORB OF BLINDING DEATH; POWERING ARIZONA'S CRACKHOUSES. that should be my title.
im actually IN english class right now. my teacher wants there to be "more typing than talking" which is quite a curious thing for a high school teacher to say in a normal school setting.
i love how my friends sit at the front of the room and im way back here. woo.
WHO IS SCREAMING IN THE HALLWAY. YOURE BEING RIDICULOUS.
haha i think someone just said "nook-lee-er" mispronunciation. it's pronounced "noo-clear."
my english teacher mispronounces soooo many things. it's cring-worthy.
i suppose to anyone else it'd seem like i had a constant stream of ideas on this topic. im pretty sure most of my posts are longer than 750 words. i can probably belt something out by six. hopefully. i guess we'll see.
i hate school. i wish i didn't have to sit in classes all day. just counting minutes.
and for those of you who haven't read the last harry potter, yes. harry dies.
and if you had read the freaking book by now i wouldn't have to crush your soul like this.
i dont want to even open a text document. that whole page jsut looming on my screen, completely empty makes me shudder. NU-UH. NO WAY.
screw the whole thing!! what grade waill i have if i jsut dont do it?
probably not a good one. i have a C in this class. but thats only because i fail the little count of monte cristo quizes he gives us every week. im not actualy gonna read that book. that would be a major waste of time. hah.
OKAY WELL. i guesss...i'll go...
i don't know what im gonna do...
ARGH. YOU KNWO WHAT, MR. BAILEY?! EAT IT. and im referring to a corndog.
 bless your face.
booP.

the perks of being a wallflower

i love my friends, i really do.
if not for them i'd be that same person i was up until 8th grade. i movd out here in the 5th grade, and from the start, i never really had  any friends. everyoen seemed to have their own cliques and nothing really stood out about me except for my grades. and back then, you were a goody two shoes if you got good grades and didn't try to be "popular" like everyone else. So I suppose that's what I was dubbed.
but even when i was 10, when the pressure of who you'd become was at it's most intense, i didn't really give a care. i had my CD/Radio to listen to, my journal to talk to, and my books to admire. what more did i need? school was sort of a joke to me. still is, of course.
6th grade was probably my least favorite year of all time. i got put in a class with a bunch of trouble makers, and kids just screaming for attention. i was a nobody. even after winter break, no one seemed to know my name. i rarely spoke because i didn't have anything to say. if i wanted to make a joke, i'd doodle it in a notebook. no one knew who i was, and no one bothered to find out. I din't let that hurt my feeligns though. I learned it's not your fault if someone doesn't notice you. it's not because you didn't wear the right clothes, or use the right lotion...you weren't noticed because the people you want to be noticed by, are too busy trying to be noticed themselves. If you want to be seen, you have to make yourself seen, or else you'll be invisible.
that epiphanie, sparked a realization.  i didn't WANT to be seen. Not by these di mwitted middle schoolers anyway. (that sounds really pompous, I know) truth was, i didn't have  any desire to be popular, and it was impossible to fit me into any sort of social category (besides maybe a goodygoody) i enjoyed looking out at people, studying them, analyzing them, watching them like i was alone in a giant aquarium and they were the weird looking fish.
lunch was my biggest problem. i never knew where to go. i had this one group that seemed the friendliest. brigitte, libby, hans, nick...and a few others i don't remember. they let me tag along like i was a puppy. they never asked if i wanted to hang out or anything. i was just a temporary extension.
that was okay with me. i thought it'd be a real pain to pretend to be interested in their "drama" and maybe even get a myspace or whatever else i had to do to stay in touch. The conversations I listened to them having were dull and lifeless. They watched movies, they watched their weight, they were in relationships. It all seemed silly to me. i didn't like getting attached to people because things always seemed to detach themselves when i was the least ready.
these people were good back ups when the second worst part about being invisible occurred: group projects. group projects always sucked because i was  the quiet goodygood who already knew all the stuff  the teacher was teaching and everyone wanted to mooch off me. i either didn't participate in a group or i did all the work. it usually depended on the size of the grade.
the perks of being a wallflower are numerous, though. i mean, think about it. once you know how people work, you can get away with anything. as soon as you realize that the only things people remember, pertain to themselves, you'll get through life alot easier. figuring people out was easy. if you spendt a couple years, friendless, with all the time in the world on your hands, jsut watchign epople, reading books, writing and just learning how to be alone...you'd be a bit wiser than the ones who spent their time doign their hair and marching around trying to get a boyfriend. people become predictable.
when i was younger i never called myself a "wallflower". i liked the term: "ghost". i was there, but no one acknowledged that at all. i could even speak, and no one seemed to care. but i never had to deal with people, and i liked that. even at a young age.
im less quiet now. i feel less like im in an aquarium. or at least..less like im ALONE in a n aquarium.
i still don't want to "participate" but im won't object for some fellow wallflwoer friends who think people are as ridiculous as i think they are.
it's easy to get lost in the sociology of it all. well, if the only thing that matters to people is themselves, then what am i supposed to care about? are people's mindsets ever going to change? what will a future of selfish epopel look like? is it possible to be too selfless?
i think it is very possibe to be too selfless. soon you find yourself, finding no value in yourself, and caring too much for things that wont help you out in the way you help them.
im sorry if i seem vague.
but im sometimes bad at explaining concepts with as much depth as this one.
that's why i love nita so much, because it turns out she is a wallflower as well. and we totally get each other.
i suppose wallflowers, ghosts...whatever you want to call us...we can be qualified as "weird" or "nerds". but hey. what's so bad about being a bit off? why should i do so much to make the majority happy when it doesn't matter in the end? and WHAT in the NAME of NELLY FERTADO is so bad about being a nerd?
is it really so bad that i'd rather be smart than vapid? witty instead of playing it dumb all the time? Is it a travesty that i'd rather read instead of watch a show about a bunch of tanned idiots run around in bathing suits? what if i love harry potter and holden caulfeild more than i love johnny depp or robert pattenson? is that such a crime?
anyways. that's my rant about that.
bless your face. if you sneezed during this long post, bless you.
peace off.
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BOOP!!

naps

slept for exactly 60 minutes.
dreamt i was walking down a neighborhood street on a hot summer afternoon. everyone's sprinklers were on and were facing the street instead of the yards. i happily walked through the cool spray of water. there were people standing out on their lawns. men and women who had come out of the houses, watched me walk down the street, my clothes now completely soaked. i smiled up at them and they all smiled back and began to peel off their shirts and run for the water as well. i kept walking, happy ukulele music beginning to play around me. i was happy because i got the adults to finally be happy and act like kids.
woke up with a start. fell back asleep. another 60 minutes later
i dreamt i had finished the walk down the neighborhood street. in real life, it's a cul-de-sac, and behind it is a large field with a park in the corner. but in the dream it was a large lake. i was still feeling happy so i jumped in the lake and began to swim. i noticed these boys calling me, and trying to swim towards me on buggy boards. I swam away. i dived under the water and then was suddenly picked up by this huge machine, lifting me wayyyy out of the water, up into the sky. the mood of the dream changed from lighthearted to frightening. the machine was in the shape of a sea monster. it's metal body was a squiggle shape, about as long as a plane. it's body was made out of sharp silver scales , with gaps in between each scale as if it was meant to hold something. at it's head was the driver who pumped black smoke out of the sea monster's iron mouth. i was sitting near the head on a chair, strapped in too tightly to move. like i was on a rollercoaster. my stomach dipped down to my toes as we dived. the machine made a horrible screeching noise as it dragged against the ground, suddenly in a garbage dump.  i screamed as the machine's back end dropped down into the dump, picking up garbage with it's scales. I  dipped down as well, and was buried inside of the waste. my shoulders were above ground level, and the machine still drove forward, flinging dirt and rocks into my fast. the garbage, several layers deep contained sharp objects that cut through my skin. the driver began to pull up, having collected enough garbage. the driver leaned out of the sea monster's eye and watched me as i was being dragged through the dirt. he look something in his hand that looked like a round silver ball. he dropped it, and blades came out, giant knifes and spinny tiny lades popped out from inside of the ball. the ball fell, and the momentum carried it straight towards me. i heard the driver laugh as the terrifying weapon flew straight at my throat, with speed-of-light velocity
i woke up. then slept a more 24 minutes.
 i dreamed that i went downstairs and it was 5:45, which is just before my mom gets home from work. all my siblings  were screaming at each other. there was one i didn't recognize. he was a small, black skinned child and he was crying. i gave him a hug and told everyone to do their room chores. i looked past the washing machine, out into the garage where they all seemed to be gathered. i walked, with the unknown child still in my arms to see what was going on. my sister turned around and pointed to the  street, where alot of people were walking. "they're all killers. they've all killed someone, the police showed us!" she said.
the people who were walking looked homeless, and angry. their eyes red, their hair disheveled. there was something very zombie-esque about the slow way the moved. how they didn't acknowledge each other. one looked over at the house and stopped int he middle of the street, staring into the garage at my siblings. they started calling towards him liek he was a dog. "come here, come here," they kept saying. "we have some food"
the kid i was holding started to scream and cry harder, even trying to run back into the house. i told him it was going to be alright. just as i said that, the man out on the street, started coming towards the house, reaching out for my siblings. he was moving too fast to be a zombie. my brain reeled. maybe he was infected with the virus and not bitten, maybe he was a cannibal. whatever he was, i knew he was a killer. i told my siblings to get inside NOW, pressed the button in the garage, and the door started to close, making the same screech as the machine in my previous dream. the kid i held, was crying into my shirt and the garage door just wouldn't shut fast enough!! the man was beginning to get on the ground as the garage door got too low for one to stoop under. he was beginning to crawl towards the garage. the screech was deafening. mom would be home soon! the house was a mess! who was this child?
then i woke up.
realized it was 4:48, went downstairs and cleaned. we didn't have any visitors. i stood in the living room, peering out of the blinds. the street was empty as usual.
went up stairs, still in a daze, thinking it was odd how precise my sleeping pattern is and then opened a blog post.

fin.
boop?

your mom's lust and pixie dust

ich bin in DEUTSCHKLASSE. es ist sehr langwielig.
SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LANGWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...
UND GILBERT SAGEN ER SEIT EINEN FEDORA?! WAS DER CRAP.
im usually the one who sees the fedoras.
ICH HABE KLEINE KINDER GETRETEN!!!!!!!
hahaha just kidding.
why do i feel the need to capitalize german words? it's cuz the voice in my head that speaks german is a screaming german woman.
ICH HABE KLEINE HUND GETRETEN NICHT! unless it's a choowawa. and no, im nto going to look up how to spell that.i hate choowawas. they're annoying to me.
when do we get out of this class??? stupid halfday schedual throwing me miles off.
oh nelly. my teacher's gonna call on me.
wait, never mind.
tyler hat rango angesehen und es ist blod. (pretend the o in blod has an umlaut).
yeah i've heard differnt things about that. wie findest du rango?
i dont know, i havent seen it.
well, everyone's packing up. i guess we're gonna leave soon. i'll cut this post short. not like im goigngto say anything of value at all.
like i ever do! what did i talk about last post? flying zebras? relevant to everything. in my world at least. i think i'd trade my whole family for a flying zebra. i'm not kidding. it'd be freaking amazing.
how do you like the song of the day? "i want to know you plans" by say anything.
one of my favorites.
i love that band.
wait, i'm gonna go now.
my teacher says we're really good at learning german. we're doing the best out of all his classes. well, it's because we want to learn german.
and it's easy for me. im better with languages.
OKAY. FOR REAL. LOVE YOU LONG TIME. BYE

BOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wait, what?

HI. i feel like i should make a quick entry due to boredom and a headache. maybe if i drain out some random stuff in my head, it'll feel less clogged.
here's a few random stuff swimming around my skull right now:
coffee smells delicious.
i'd never drink coffee. when i was a kid, i remember finding a beer bottle with beer in it in my backyard, cuz my neighbors threw it over. i wanted to taste the beer, but i threw the bottle away and i felt really happy after that.
my neighors threw rocks at my brothers. i wonder if they were stoned.
i didn't know about drugs until middle school.
funny how i assume drugs and swearing didn't exsist before i discovered them in middle school.
middle school was weird. i was really quiet in middle school. i didn't really have any friends.
that was okay, though. i learned how to be alone. that came in handy.
handy is the german word for cellphone.
hey jude is one of my all time favorite beatles songs. i know it's cliche.
i read the word "cliche" in my head like "clichy"
aubergine is a british word for eggplant
i read a book called "the 100th thing about caroline" where she hates eggplant. that was a good book.
i need to read it again.
i didn't realize how many book i read until i realized NO ONE reads books.
i wish i had a library like belle's in "beauty and the beast"
there's always scary parts in disney movies. i used to be really scared of the part when beast got attacked by the wolves. and i always thought i was sad when belle took him home after the attack, and tried to help him, and beast tried to lick his wounds like a cat. it was depressing kinda, because the prince had sort of BECOME an animal cuz he was alone and hopeless for so long.
i was disappointed when the prince turned out having long blonde hair.
i wish flyign zebras were real. thats 9 billion times better than a stupid unicorn.
and that is how coffee and flying zebras are related.
i did my english homework. tedious and irritating.
but it's done nonetheless. i have geometry homework but that can easily be done in OATS. wait. tomorrow's a half day, there is no OATS. well, i'll finish it before fifth period somehow. there's no freaking way i'm doing it right now. no. way.
my brain is done thinking.
im thirsty but in order to get unthirsty i'd have to go all the way down stairs and stand there by the refrigerator to fill up my waterbottle. the water in my refrigerator is all slow coming out now..something about the hardwater blocking the thing inside the thing...what a shame.
i got home and slept and then went to mutual, where lizi was nowhere to be found! D: then i came home and did homework. i haven't seen much of my mother today, but she seemed kinda pissed off so i didn't bother.
i wish i had something cool to report of.
nothing really happened to me today. i'm sort of starting to understand what we're learning in chemistry. ploense is just kind of crazy, i have to put myself in her mindset to get what she's trying to explain.
uhhh lunch was nice. the weather's not gone to hell yet. but it's getting there. it's finally hot enough to play that sadistic hand on table game. you know? the arizonans know, at least. it's the one where the tables outside get as hot as a stovetop, and you and your friends see how long you can leave your hand on the surface. ah summer. the smell of burning flesh, the steam coming off of our hair...the sweat...yay....
amazon.com is so amazing. i need to stop going on there because there's so much stuff on there i want. like all those zombie button pins. holy nelly.
must...have...zombie..merchandise...
*smacks own face*
OKAY. TIME FOR BED.
half day tomorrow. cue angel choir!

BOOP

what do you call a female dear who never loses? A WINDOW

hi, im writing to you from study hall.
at my school, it's called OATS. i forget what it stands for. Openly Accepting Terrible Stuff?
i have no idea.
there are two girls sitting next to me, eating something and whispering loudly enough for the entire room to hear them. ugh...high school girls are obnoxious.
gilbert likes to tease me that i like pecquex because i went to the movies with him.
IT WAS HIS IDEA!! and i don't want to date him. stupid gilbert.
i dont know why im so irritated today...i just am. haha i threw my phone at my sister in my sleep. i remember doing it, but i don't remember why. when i woke up, both my phone and my ipod were across the room. it was kind of scary.
JUDAS PRIEST, GIRLSITTINGNEXTOMEINOATS. SHUT UP. NO ONE CARES.
you know, if i spoke all of my thoughts, i'd have no friends.
i have a headache.
i finished all my homework.
i don't want to go home. but i don't want to stay here. i don't want to be with friends but i don't want to be alone, either. maye i'll just go to the elementary school and swing on the swings after school today..
i have to go to mutual at 7:00. we're playing volleyball again. with the boys. i suppose this is lucky because no one will notice me if i stand off to the side, they'll all be preoccupied with showing off or whatever.
i need to do so much rosetta stone.
i liek talking to jeremy. i've known him since before freshmen year. he moved to chandler, though. and i don't really get to see him. but we still talk, and he makes me feel...awesome.
i like feeling good for a change, im always liable to fall into depression but when jeremy talks to me, i get my head above water. i wish i could have him with me all the time.
and i'm glad we're close, it's nice because...most people i've known since before highschool  aren't part of my life so much anymore. besides carley, but she's the exception because we've been friends since 3rd grade. which is amazing because i don't like holding onto people that long. sometime i feel the need to just drop everyone and everything and just go.
what's YOUR problem, sir?! the dude in front of me, turns around, puts his laptop on his lap, and keeps glancing up at me.
it's unnerving when this happens. when i can feel people looking at me. i hate it.
so how do you like the song of the day? i change it every morning, so you have something new to listen to. 
woop.
class is over in three minutes.
then i go to painting. we're painting a picture of what we did over break. i pulled weeds.
school's a pain. too much work...too many people..deadlines...OKAY. im done whining.
bless your face, if you sneezed during this post bless you.
peace off.
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BOOP

precarious chemistry blogging

Annabelle? wha?
what are you doing blogging in chemistry class? that's precarious!
see, this is usually where i do my work, but today i am NOT feelin' it. not even remotely feelin' it.
chemistry's boring. it's just math in disguise. don't let the idea of labs and bunson burners fool you. it's al LIE! of sorts.
i have a bowling for soup song stuck in my head. first time in a long time.
ahhh, im worried ploense will be concerned with me typing when im supposed to be finding oxidation states of different ions and..other stuff that is lame...
ploense is awesome. i like her because she might be one of the most insane people i've ever known. she likes saying "by the by..." i like it when she says that because that means she's getting sideracked.
like how she told us that this college was picking the quirky kids as opposed to the smarter Ap-kids. they picked the ones that hada sense of humor in their essays. WELL, i guess this just proves my theory that school is ultimately pointless. i mean, if i can get into college by being quirky, well..yale...prepare yourself for some SERIOUS HARDCORE quirks.
yo.
speaking of things that won't get you anywhere in life-
i don't want to write the paper for english. it sounds really boring. it's about "arizona's renewal energy" and like i said before, the only resources in arizona is the sun..and crack.
and only one is renewable. so that sucks.
i hate school, but im happy that i got to see gilbert and nita again. YAY! friendsies til the endsies.
only 44 days left. 8 mroe mondays. 63 days including week days. about 4 halfdays within these next 9 weeks.
that should be interesting.
im gonna text jeremy when i get home..
well, the bell's about to ring.
bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
peace off. dodododododo subscribe!
BOOP

same song, different chorus

just got back from church. is it bad that everyone in my ward irritates me to no end? i mean REALLY. i don't exist on any day of the week other than sunday? don't act like you're my friend when you don't even know my middle name.
but hey. you act like a saint, see if i believe it.
MY STUPID CAT KEEP MEOWING. SHUT UP. SHUT. UP. stupid...feline...and...your..needs...
i hate food. food is poison. i hate when people talk about food, i hate eating it, and i hate thinking about it.
i like writing songs in sunday school. it's kind of fun because i can go off doing my own thing and not be so angry..
freaking, A. i love bowling for soup. i kinda forgot about them, but they're a great band.
blogspot.com does this thing where it saves your post as a draft while you write it. except for now. at the bottom of my screen it says "an error occurred while saving"
typical. TYPICAL. yeah. you WOULD do that to me right now.
school tomorrow. woopee.
i have to go to the camp kick off tonight. i normally wouldn't give two cares about this, but i think i have to say something. i'ma  YCL...one out of like three people my age who actually go to church. which means i'll be up there, alone. as usual.
the other girls a bit younger than me just got to talk to the boys.
i don't like the boys. they think they're sooo cool. it's kinda disappointing, in a way.
you know. the whole "marry a mormon boy or else you won't go to heaven" deal kinda crushes me.
mormon boys are jerks too. i know non-mormon boys who are more respectful than they are.
joys.
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..what should i say? uhh yesterday i posted my phone number on facebook and then left it there for a couple hours but no one contacted me so i took it down.
screw you people. hahaha. what else was i supposed to think...
you know if i deleted all the people on facebook who i didn't really care about, i'd have like two friends....
i guess to fit in nowadays you need to dye your hair and get a piercing and tell everyone you have "haters".
if that's what i need to do to get people to like me, count me out. i'd rather be an abnormal girl who sits in church ignoring the fake girls and boys and doodling for three hours.
and that, my friends, is what makes me absolutely and completely invisible.and i'm okay like that.
i know i come off as hating everything, but really i hate myself and nothing can convince me to do otherwise. not even you, lady gaga. i was born this way, sure. but that doesn't make it right.
bless your face.
BOOP

in which things are done

OMG I GOT A NEW PHONE AND IT IS SO RAD.
wow. i never thought i'd use the word "rad". i think that was the second time in my life i ever said that.
but i guess "rad" is the only way to explain some things. LIKE THE SAMSUNG FLIGHT II.
oh snap.
it's got a keyboard and a touch screen and a camera. it's so confusing. i also got a shirt that says "yes" on the front" and "no" on the back. i don't know why but i thought that was funny and charming so i picked it up. like your mom. hmm wot else did i do today? i tried to return a book, but i couldn't. so i'm gonna sell it online and buy pins/flair with the money i get. last time i bought pins, they all fell off and it was LAMESAUCE. does anyone know where i could get some pins? maybe even dr. seuss ones? eh?
mom bought us some new bedsheets. we're also going to get people to take out the old dresser drawers that have been taking up space in our room. then we can finally move our beds around.
woe. it's like, actual PROGRESS is being made.
i would feel very fulfilled if i had gotten my PLATO done. and my count of monte cristo reading. and-okay you know, let's not think about all the homework i had to do.
psh.
they'll live.
ooh, i also got a new bag to put my crap in for school.
dude. i got alot of new things. AND i'm starting the new quarter of school on monday! i like that everything can be new sometimes. change is good that way.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
peace off
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with a little bit of love and a little bit of yeah yeah

so i decided to kick myself back to life today.
in order to do that, i have to screw everything and LEAVE. the more depressed i get the farther i go. i planned on going by bike so i could go father, faster but all the bikes are broken or too small. so i went ZU FUSS. i made it pretty far, and I took the long way back. I avoided all the places that made me sad, which was kind of interesting because i created a whole new route i've never been on before. the wind was blowing, and it was nice.
I learn a lot of things when i walk.
1. We are born to die. False. We are born, in fact, to live.
2. Never walk between a tree and a wall. There IS a spiderweb.
3. If you think you see a half buried dead cat by the side of the road. don't stop and look. it WILL be a dead cat.
4.Whenever you want to feel at ease, walk to the elementary school and swing on the swings.
5. Talking walks is an excellent way to come up with poems.
6. Glaring at little punk boys is fun because you can see the fear in their eyes
7.Skip the sad songs. they make you walk slower, and think too much.
8. Be home before 5:30, to make sure the siblings actually DID clean in the hour (or so) you were gone.
9. Bring money in case you want to buy something at walgreens, like bubbles.
10. Wear dark clothes and red lipstick. Also look angry. No one will mess with you.
If i had kept walking a little longer, i would have started to smell barbecue coming from most of the neighborhood. it's a nice smell, reminds me of summer and freedom from school. break is officially over, as i sit here and type this. it ended at 2:35, actually. Now, it's just a regular friday night attached to painfully small weekend.
Here's three songs that are the same mood i am:
change of seasons-sweet thing
yeah yeah-sam means
from the morning-nick drake
mom's home. she doesn't seem pissed off. that's good. well, that should last a while.
oh well. okay. im gonna go. you listen to those songs, they're good.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post bless you.
dodododododo subscriiiiibe
peace off.





BOOP

thursdays are thursdays

NOOOO TOMORROW'S THE LAST DAY OF BREAK!! AGHHHH
how did it fly by so fast? haha i accomplished nothing. absolutely nothing. well that's not true.  as soon as i woke up, i kid you not, i reached for my laptop opened plato and did my chemistry PLATO. and i got 100%. i've never gotten a full 100% before. dude. that was alot of stress lifted from me. but i still have 3 geometry ones to do, but they're due on sunday night so i've got time to get them done. it's easy just crap about interior angels and exterior angels. you know. n-2(180) all that stuff.
eh.
i got some girftcards at christmas which is still haven't used yet. i'm getting those out of the way on saturday. im buying some new clothes. woop. i bought the book "a million little pieces" and i have to return it for two reasons. one, because he swears every other sentence. and two because it made me feel like i was on meth or something. i get really into the books i read. like after reading "catcher in the rye" i'm usually quiet for a few days and say "and all" after every sentence in my head.
ah. holden caulfield. I WILL MARRY YOU SOMEDAY
calm down, annabelle.
i will.
yeah, i'd hope so.
shut up, judy.
sssssssoooooo, im gonna get a new phone on saturday too. woop. uh m. any more news? have i said anything of value at all? no? GOOD.
i'm really mad at gilbert, he went and saw limitless online. that JERKFACE. :S
ohhh my world is falling apart.
ha.
alright. i have nothing else to say.

bless your face, if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
dododododdo subscribe
peace off

BOOP

midnight troubles are ranted about

i've been lying in my bed since 10, trying to fall asleep. i got up this morning with only a couple hours of sleep to carry me through today. and today wasn't fun.
mom came home in a bad mood again. i drank water for dinner before leaving to a camp meeting. in all and complete honesty, i hate planning girl's camp.i hate seeing how hard it is to make a week happen. a good week.
i hate seeing how hard it is to make everyone happy.
i brought a notebook along to jot down notes but i ended up sketching the cat lounging around the room, looking for attention. ugh. i have a weakness. why cant i ever just focus on where i am instead of trying to be somewhere else. that's why i multitask, so I'm not just sitting and dwelling on where i am or what i'm doing. if i give myself too much time on one thing, it all goes south and i realize how pointless and minimal everything seems.
i apologize if some of this doesn't make sense. it won't in the light of day. my eyes are fuzzy and i can barely read what i'm writing. my eyes are tired but my mind is pacing back and forth in my head.
i guess i feel alone this late at night. well duh, annabelle you say. you're supposed to feel alone, you ARE alone. but i didn't always feel alone. even if i was by myself i wasn't ALONE, alone. hard to explain. but it was like i had something. someone. somewhere. but i haven't felt it in a long time.
it's a very empty sort of feeling.
i made myself some strawberry poptarts. i drank a glass of milk. hopefully with warm food in my stomach, i can sleep better.
i wonder if i ate anything today...er...yesterday. i think i recall eating some crackers. and this morning i drank some orange juice.
that's good.
i hate you, facebook. ugh. see, i challenged my facebook friends (mistake) on whether or not they could get me to change my profile picture (mistake). the deal was that if they came up with 100 songs starting with "1234" i'd change my profile picture to an actual picture of myself.
my facebook picture has always been the one i use for this blog, and unfortunately for everyone involved, it's now a real picture of me. for the first day i had a picture of myself looking at the camera dead on and i felt like i was being a jerk somehow by doing that. i dont know why. i think i thought people would think that i thought i was all that.
ha.
but i'm not, i hate real picturesof  myself. i replaced the one looking at the camera dead on with a candid shot fr my mom. it's less painful that way. haha. it still sucks, though. i hate logging on and seeing myself. BLECH. and i almost took it down tonight. BUT I KEEP MY PROMISES GOSHDANGET.
whatever happened to keeping promises? does anyone even do that besides me anymore?
no..
so that's my facebook conundrum that no one gives a crap about. wahhh annabelle has self esteem issues.
ha.
you even notice i don't post personal stuff on facebook? it's all for kicks and giggles over there. here? i don't know. mostly kicks and giggles. aside from midnight ranting. that's when all the heavy stuff likes to sneak on.
ugh. like udi. i'm completely puzzled by udi. when i think udi, i think wtf? i must know more about him.
but do i? do i really?
i cried tonight. i rarely cry. and i guess it wasn't really crying as much as it was convulsing and feeling really sad. how come tears dont come out of my eyeballs? why is that? am i some sort of mutant?
did you know there was a girl in india who cried diamonds? yeah. google that crap.
i hate being depressed. i dont wanna  be like my mom. miserable and irritable and promising to change but NEVER DOES. and she might. maybe if she gets married to newjerseyboyfriend, who knows. who the crap knows.
i don't get it. newjerseyboyfriend isn't mormon. so him and my mom won't get married in the temple. will they just get married like..other people do? in a backyard somewhere? will i have to go? if i marry a mormon guy, have mormon babies and then divorce him is it okay for me to marry a random guy without the priesthood?
frekkn a, mom.
and then this girl hayli's boyfriend broke up with her. that sucks. they've been going out since around halloween but they were never official. i think she's in 8th grade. she looks up to me and texts me constantly. i'm not a good friend. did you know that? i'm a terrible friend. i never return texts, if i get bored i'll just leave them hanging out in cyberspace. i avoid people i sued to call "friends" we grew apart or something and suddenly a switch goes off in my brain saying "DO NOT GO NEAR THEM" so i don't. if i freeze someone out for too long they die of frostbite.  i wish i could just do that to hayli already because sometimes she annoys me because...she's in 8th grade. and i have alot to deal with without her drama.
but i can't just drop her. she's like a puppy with a broken leg, i can't just abandon her. she thinks im popular or something. hahaha...oh...man...i kinda miss the tiny 8th grade world.
which loops us back to udi. i dont wanna be his friend, i'd end up killing him with my freezing powers and something tells me he's had enough crap to deal with in his life. im done befriending people. especially guys.
im done with people in general. im very grateful for gilbert, though. and carley and nita. and mckenna. screwwww everyone elssssssssssssse. except for udi, i guess.
what? i'm exhausted now.
alright. i need to go to bed...
thus ends our trip in annabelle's head. sorry. i dunno if  i should post it.
ah who cares.
oh yeah...no one! ha

outro and...BOOP

ranting about music

is it sad that i've never been to a concert?
i really wish i had the money and means of travel to go to one. it's an experience im supposed to have at this age, i guess. im the few left who haven't seen anyone live.
sometimes i feel like im not true to my love of music. i need music, i can't go a day without my ipod and grooveshark is my best friend right now.every band has something to offer. event he unbearable crappy ones. every genre has it's soft spots. i can fall into some rap and hiphop for a few songs and even country has some songs that are sweet. music moves me and it's amazing. i can't imagine life without it. it's a whole other language and almost another world in and of itself.
  yet i don't pursue learning to play an instrument even an easy one like the piano or guitar. it's like how i can't sing. my singing voice is terrible. this wouldn't be a problem if i didn't WANT to sing. i mean, some songs are irresistible. like a giant juicy red apple that i Have to bite into. but i have to be alone when i sing because i have to get it off my chest and i have to let it all out somehow other than drawing and writing. right? but the problem is, i sound like rebecca black!
*shudder*
i wish i could sing. i wish i least had that.
i can write songs, though. well, the lyrics anyways. i wish i knew how to play. or at least read music.
oh well. when i become a lighthouse keeper living alone on a stormy beach, i'll buy a piano and learn.
or something.

blah

hi there.
why am i still so depressed? it sucks. and my moms always in a bad mood which makes the siblings all anxious and soon my whole house just turns into a giant frying pan of hell.
i've found nothing to do, so last night i went on fastpass.tv and started watching episode after episode of "pretty little liars" i'm sorry to say that it's actually not that bad.
unfortunately i still have loads of PLATO to do. one long chemistry one, adn then a couple geometry ones. and my bran is not happy to hear this. come to think of it, chem and geometry are the only classes i actually have to stay awake in because of the math. i suck at math, which is why im not in Pre-Ap algebra 2 or at least pre-Ap geometry. it's cuz im stupid when it comes to numbers. i'm okay with the formulas and equations ut i often make small mistakes within my multiplication and division or the teacher isn't explaining the steps. for me, math is like a dense jungle.
i like writing and language classes better.
besides chem and geometry, i have a couple art classes, english, and german. those are nice. german class is easy because i dont have to do any homework, my english teacher likes me, and im pretty good at art by myself so i don't have to do anything all day.
im angry at this town.
im so sick of living here. i'm sick of living in this state. i'm sick of the people around me, too. (for the most part. i think if you're reading this, you're safe)
the problem is that this town is so small, nothing ever changes or happens at all. the past is still hanging in the air around us making the future seem like it doesn't exist. i hate that the weather is only enjoyable for a few weeks between the see-your-breath months and the boil-your-skin months. i hate that i can't get away form anything.
around this time of year, after winter ends and before summer settles in my rain goes haywire. what can i do to escape? how can i out-run the sun? how am i going to get through another sweltering summer? what's the point of doing this all over again? can i run away? if i run away will i just end up homeless in the above 100 degree heat? how long do i have to stay here before i go insane?
i get this weird itch somewhere inside me that i have to LEAVE. i have to GET OUT OF HERE. and i'm tired of brushing that aside. i wish i at least had a car to escape in.
my plan was to collect a good amount of money so i could take a bus to the airport and then leave form there. for a while i wanted to go to san fransisco and jump off the golden gate bridge. it was kind of a sick dream of mine. now i have no idea. i feel like i live in a snow globe, sometimes.
and it's tiring to sugarcoat everything all the time.
ugh. i hate tuesdays. mutual. i have to leave in about a half hour.
im done talking.

Dantes needs less friends, and less enemies

AND THE MIDNIGHT BLOGGING COMMENCES
im listening to some micheal montes. extremely mellow. after 1, it's time to dial down on the crazy music. it's like drinking scotch in the morning. it shouldn't be done. i mean hard rock all the way, WOO! but after midnight, it's time to give your brain a chance to dust itself off and sweep the floor of it's scattered brain cells.
ah udi. recommending music for me randomly in the middle of the night. im not complaining i need new music constantly. do you have a song to recommend? leave it in the comments below!
is it sad that i haven't left the house except for nita's jamboree?! YES. im going to leave the house More often this week though.
what did you say? are you asking if i have another week on break?
YES I DO!
and with this week i will get caught up in my reading of "count of monte cristo" write more zombies, go on walks, do my room chores so mom doesnt cut off my wifi supply. also, im going to see limitless with mom and a few siblings, and gilbert. sometime this week. friday? saturday? i dunno.
my brain is buzzing right now i can't sleep in this state.
this may end up as an all-nighter.
usually i pull all-nighters because i have someone to talk to or alot of work to do but tonight may just be out of restlessness. those are the worst.
the worst part about reading "count of monte cristo" is having to keep that stupid character chart. does mr. bailey even KNOW how many characters are in there??  i'm just gonna go through and write down all the names. how long can it take? ha. a day? two? hahaha...ahhhh...im goign to die. i thought it was a joke! i thought he was kidding! there's no way. ugh. it makes me want to put my head in a bucket of bleach and drown myself. morbid, i know. you'll be fine.
"being human" comes on tonight. it's monday. but i have to wait until tuesday for it to go online...i don't wanna!!
i've been practicing drawing one of the main charaters named Ayden. He's a vampire. he's gorgeous AND a very fatherly...person...being... i've never seen someone so beautiful, looking so much like dracula before. my drawings never do him justice.
ah...swooning...
and we're back. i googled "blog of epic rants" and we're nowhere to be found. at least, not on the first page. i wish we were more public. but it's okay.
when my hand falls asleep and i feel it all pins and needly and tingly, i like to imagine my hands are about to shoot out beams of light or fire or something. i like feeling like a superhero, okay? i grew up with the x-men.
do i have ANYTHING important to say?
nah. im not as depressed as i was, last time though. i think it's because all weekend my ipod was pretty much dead, so i didn't have any music to listen to. but i've had my headphones in for a few hours now. i feel alot better. my ipods charging in the other room while i charge here with grooveshark and youtube.
thank you interwebs, for saving the core of my existence.
i just listened to a song called "our departure" by a band called Our Broken Garden. I don't recommend their other songs. eh. not as good. but this one is like floating above an dark ocean.
i found it by following links from micheal montes' songs.
ahhh the joy of doing nothing at all. break is so relaxing. okay. i should go now. probably gonna read or something.

bless your face. if your sneezed during this post, bless you.
dododododo subscribe
take luck, peace off

P.S. I LOVE YOUr mom

Nanana,nananana,nanananana heyyy jude...
YES, i like the beatles. my mom hates them, and my grandpa loves them. i guess that's how it goes. if i have kids, i hope they like the beatles too. if not i'd probably have to beat them to death. haha no, that's pretty morbid. i'd do it more humanely. Like lethal injection.
haha i'm kidding.
i'm never having kids.
i'll either die young or end up a crazy lady no one likes to talk to.
eh.
i saw this show the other day called "walking dead" and it was so good, it sucked. i can't watch it any more or else i'll start steal it's ideas for my book and that's dumb.i can do it by myself...insert whimpers..
i hate texting people when im depressed..it always ends with me not putting in the emotes and then my clever replies just sputter out until i dont answer all together. and that's always rude but who cares.
i listened to bruno mars' song "grenade" recently. if it wasn't so overplayed, it'd probably appeal to me.
overplayed songs are kinda sad. like old people.
there's a line in that song that goes something like "i'd put my hand on a blade for ya"
and my friend is convinced he says "i'd put my head on a plate for ya"
i mean...maybe it's just me but anyone could put their head on a plate and not be too upset about it afterwards. but maybe my friend thought like, " i'd put my decapitated head on a plate for ya"
though that's slightly more impressive than putting your hand on a blade, it's quite unnecessary and a few too many syllables.
my other friend said that song is about overkill that he was being melodramatic. he just needed to get over the girl.
i disagree but i didn't say anything. didn't wanna seem emo.
i'm bored with break but i don't want to go back to school.
OH! i went to nita's jamboree yesterday. as usually, all the people we invited along bailed on us and mckenna and myself were the only people who showed. because we're not flakes. and we're awesome.
i am number four was an okay movie. i think the whole super-natural teen thing has been done by now though. we went home and made delicious pizza.
they dragged me to the stake dance. i hate stake dances. the only reason people go is because they think their crush might be there. deny that, you may but it is true. the music consists of the top 5 hits and country music. oh and the chacha slide and the cupid shuffle. can't forget those...
i'm lucky. i only got forced itno going two times, and no one asked me to dance. i did my best to blend in. and it worked. i'm really good at being invisible. i'm not very noticeable.
that might make a normal teenage girl get all weepy but you should know this by now, im not normal. i have no desire for most of the things people want at my age. i just want to get the frick out of school, out of this state, and hopefully off the planet by the end of graduation.
school makes me angry. it's so pointless. i haven't learned anything useful since i was in seventh grade. i started learning trig and i realized i already KNEW it. it's ridiculous.
but i guess it's good that my school's computer based because most of the jobs today use computer programs we have to learn.
i kinda want to be a 911 operator because i can type fast. but i dunno.i also wanna be a psychologist, or at least get a degree in psychology.
i need to get points for knowing how to spell "psychology". Haha.
i hate this emote: =3 it irritates me.
argh. well. everything irritates me today. im in a bad mood. i have problems. i mean everyone gets sad. we all have to occasional blues. but other people can get over it. they're HEALTHY. i just wallow in it. i think i have depression but im a teenager. maybe it's normal.
i was in a bad mood at church and they thought i was tired. hah im not grumpy when im tired. im usually just more hyper. that's why getting up for seminary is such a breeze.
not that anyone at church would know that. honestly. and some of them claim to be my friends.
none of them talk to me outside of...fricken...
im not even going to go into it.
i'm glad i got to see nita, i was beginning to feel lonely. i still miss gilbert though. im going through withdrawals.
haha this red headed kid named Cameron was supposed to give me his email addresss before he left because he's moving to illinois but he never did, so i have no way to contact him, and i promised him i'd keep in touch! when i took my nap this afternoon, i had a dream that i saw him and i ran towards him but he turned around and was apparently a zombie.
freakn unreliable redheads.
one of the best upsides of writing this zombie story are the dreams and seeing my friends as zombies. i mean, they look great with their lips and the skin around their eyes all decayed and their teeth full of human flesh and their guts spilling out everywhere. it's awesome.
haha once in a dream after i escaped from a horde of zombies, i stole a prius. A PRIUS?! really, annabelle? i woke up laughing.
ah.
okay well. i'm going to go now. you have fun with your life.

bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this post, bless you.
dododododo subscribe.
BOOP.

BLOGGING BEFORE NOON IS A SIN!!!!

annabelle? wha? what are you doing being up before noon on a weekday?!
that's precarious!
haha
that was weird. was i just talking to myself? Ha it's not like i do that alot...on a daily..basis
WHATEVER. so! i was at my dad's house last night and i didn't have internet to keep me entertained during the hours of the night so i just lay in my bed listening to my ridiculously long playlsit on my ipod, staring at the ceiling until about 3ish and then i fell asleep and woke up at 8:00. instead of falling back asleep like i normally do, i got up and took a shower and then went outside and walked home.
i forgot what season it was. spring. it's nice outside. i don't need a jacket, yet im not fried like a...food that's fried.
it's great! it's so pretty outside. so...my mid-morning walk was enjoyable. is it a constitutional? or is that an evening walk? i don't know, look it up. look up my incorrect slang from boston.
boston, that's a song by augustana. gilbert recommended it to me, you should listen to it, it's a nice song.
who's gilbert? he's a guy at school. i've known him since last year. we started hanging out around third quarter. we're gonna go see that movie "limitless" soon. that movie looks great!
wow my sentences have alot of commas in them. im such a sucker for run-on sentences. they just have so much to say. it's cute.
ummm...it's nita's jamboree tomorrw! i'm excited to see i am number four and hang out with her. we're going to make PIZZA and she'll probably drag me to the stake dance. LAME. but i have this unicorn minibackpack named Bernard that i'm bringing along so it's okay. i won't be totally isolated.
so, how are you? hows your day been? do you like jazz?
interesting. i'm glad to hear that, though. we're alot alike.
did you know there was a guy who walked across the twin towers? his name was philippe petit. if you have netflix there's a movie called "man on wire" you should check out. i did my 5 page research report on him. he's awesome.
DANG. this song i'm listening to has alot of percussion.
80% of my school band is in percussion. most of my friends are band geeks or at least jazz band geeks adn they're like, 'annabelle, you should join band!" but i'm a reluctant nerd. i'm not into sports or school elections. or any extra curricular activity of any sort. so i say no. i can't play anything anyways. and they're like, "but you love music, have you even tried playing an instrument!?"
and i'm like, "no..well, i played viola in fourth and third grade"
and they're like, 'see? you're practically musically inclined! you could just play percussion!"
and i'm like...nah...
the only thing i've founf i'm good at is art. and art class is nice because i don't have to worry about my grades, or impressing the art teacher and i can just relax and draw.
the problem with being good at art is that art teachers will HATE you. they're always dock five points from your work out of jealousy and then give the kid who put alot of "effort" into his chicken scratches will get 100%. eh. i don't care though. as long as i don't get an f, it's all good with me.
haha art teacher. gotta love em.
justin time. im so glad you have a one track mind like me. you gave my life direction a game show love connection we can't deny.
what?! is it just me or do the lyrics of "hey soul sister" not make sense at all.
and i do NOT have a one track mind. i have a mind like a bowl of spaghetti.
AINT THAT MISTER MISTER ON THE RADIO, STEREO. THE WAY YOU MOVE AINT FAIR YOU KNOW
hahaha that's probly stuck in your head now.
suckaaaaa!

bless your face, subscribe, take luck, and PEACE OFF!

..tonight

Partly irish depressed zombie?

hai.
i woke up at 2:23 today. that's..not...good..but it is about 8 hours, so i guess that counts for something.
i had some freaking scary and depressing dreams. they're a little hard to explain so i won't go into it.
 it's always hard to shake the feeling of those kinds of dreams.
haha i had a mini dream where i was sitting at a table with my friend nita the one i told you about earlier, and my dad was like, "we're going camping on saturday" and nita looked sad because saturday is her bday jamboree and i felt horrible.
in reality i'm the one who's able to make it to her jamboree and gilbert's the one who's going camping.
my mind is a tangle town when i'm awake, it's worse when i'm asleep. crazy, man.
so every Thursday night i have to go to my dad's house. it doesn't have internet. still. after about two years.
and so..i wont be able to do a delirious sleepy zombie post again. though, that was fun.
i have to spend this weekend at my dad's rental so that means tonight, friday night, all of saturday and saturday night and all sunday  i won't have access to the internet so the blog may be a bit drafty until i get back.
but never fear, readers. i shall return. and i'll keep posting posts faithfully probably up until school starts up again. after that, i make you no promises. but this is fun. i think i might still come on here and continue posting. just don't jinx it, okay?!
so...in other news not pertaining to myself..
it's saint patricks day. did you know the original color for the holiday was blue? i don't know why they changed it. they were probably drunk and didn't remember it, though. i'd imagine.
i'm not wearing green today..no..well...i am, never mind. there's a bass on my shirt and it's green.
so ha. in yo face!
today is when everyone says they're irish...when...they're not...but it's cool. i'm mostly Italian. probably some irish but i have no idea.
im struggling with my oy-reesh accent today. it always comes out scottish or pirate or something...
and i have no idea what needs to happen in order for this to be a real st. patty's day. i guess...well, my mom bought corned beef and cabbage and i don't really LIKE cabbage. i guess that makes me part irish too.
if i wasn't so depressed today i'd have alot more to say...so...KAYBAI!

bless your face. if you sneezed while reading this post, bless you.
dodododododo subscribe!
take luck, and peace off.

SLEEPY ZOMBIE

i had to take a break from writing about zombies. i was freaking myself out. every nosie made me jump because i was trying to conjure up best hauntingly gorey stuff i could.  if i'm scaring myself i think i'm doign a good job.
zombies are on my mind a lot. i love zombies. i wish i had enough money to go to barnes and nobles to get the "zombie survival book". not that i need to know how to survive the apocalypse but..*brushes shoulder*
speaking of bragging, i'm getting really good at drawing the dark mark.
agh. what is my iphone doing buzzing facebook notifications at me at this hour?!
what? pecquex is goign back commenting on his old statuses...awesome...
freak'n pecquex. MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL
lawl. jaykay.
:-|
yes, i have an iphone. but it doesn't have music because i don't have itunes10, and it doesn't have service because i'd have to pay my own phone bill that way.
adn i do not have a job.
ergo, no money.
so in each post am i goign to mention something about facebook? yes. it seems so.
annyoing? slightly. it seems so.
i made cokeis today. i'm temped to get up and get some. i made them with theses big delicious milk choclate chips.
oh man...my mom was so happy. i was happy. we were all happy. if you ever want to make my family automatically chipper, clean the kitchen, and then make cookeis...carefully. making sure the kitchen is still clean. also, make them at around 8, so it's like a nice waarm bedtime snack and no one has a chance to fight about anything.
i know. im very good at being curtious and civil.
...says the girl writing a book about killing zombies with crude weapons such as MAILBOXES
what?
haha it's 2:24. if this was 12 hours later and dring a school day i would have 10 minutes until the final bell rang. does that make any sense? haha me niether? random question mark there. i'm going to leave it. you know what, i'm nto goign to edit this psot at all.
why not.
me no...talk english.
wait! i should be talking english especially if im writing a book. but it IS a zombie book so i'm probabl speaking zinglish...or englombie....you decide...
wait..what?...
im getting tired.
im afraid to keep writing my book because it'll be all jibrashy and stuff...i jsut made a new word. jibrashy. jibberishy..
shut up...
annabelle just shup ut and stop
pressing
enter!!
i do that when i have a new thought to say.
bwoop.
hehehe alot of my thoughts jsut go "bwoop". i'm like a slot machine. NO. i'm not a slot machine, i ment like an atm. what's a slot machine? oh they're like in vegas. they TAKE your money.
im not going to take your money.
i wont give it to you either. i dont want anything to do with your money, sir.
youre so annoying!!1 giving me your money all the time.]
what were we talking about? toasters...no...atms..harry potter? were we talkign about harry potter?
YES. the dark mark.
jeez. this is goign to be an ineresting blog to read when im sober.
I MEAN more awake. i'm not as think as you drunk i am@ i missed the exclamation point. FREAKN A!!
there' we go. okay. speaking of go...
bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you
take luck
dododododo subscibe, bookmark, do what you gotta to keep yourself updated...
tkae luck
PEACEOFF

ANNABELLE IS A PHONE BITER

LIFE'S LIKE A JUMP ROPE, UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN
that's a song i'm listening to. it's a song by blue october. you should listen to it.
it's one of the few songs by blue october that doesn't have naughty words in it! woop. woop. woop.
so. i took a shower today. that was weird. i usually take showers at night. i have a tab open to facebook. i keep getting notifications. around 4 is when the big wave of boredom comes over people and everyone logs on. it's kinda funny that we all get bored at the same time yet we never hang out. isn't that weird?
nah. hey. we should hang out some time. that'd be fun. but only if you like the jump rope song. if you don't agree that that song's awesome, than i'm afraid we're too different.
i love using "that" twice in a row.
whoa. that last sentence made "that" seem like a drug of some sort.
yeahhh mann...twice in a row...
I DON'T DO DRUGS. seriously. how many times do i have to tell you this?!
hahahaha i just looked at the time...it's 4:20...
irony.
OKAY.
what else to say.
your mom. ANNABELLE. stop being immature. i apologize for myself. that's really embarrassing to be that immature.  JEEZ. i hate it when people say jeez. no i don't. it's okay. what i really hate is when people write "GEEZ". that is incorrect, son. that is not of a correct nature.
haha my peanut butter and Graham crackers are still up here by the computer. maaann, my mom would kill me if she knew that. she's like.."ANNIE, DON'T GET CRUMBS ON THE KEYBOARD!" and i'm like...well, actually i don't say anything because my mouth is usually full. of crumbly things.
my hair's finally dry. it's ridiculous how curly my hair is. absolutely ridiculous.
what? you didn't know my hair was curly? good. you're not supposed to. that's why i straighten it.
but i'm not going to straighten it today, it's spring break. i don't have to go to school where numerous people look at me. i can own some mad scientist hair if i want. it's cool. i'm not going to kill my hair with heated ceramic bodies for myself.
my hair's like that one Stooge of the three stooges...i forget which one..
anyways. haha my sister's name is maddie, only my dad would call her "moe" because she got angry like moe in the three stooges.
we used to watch tapes of the three stooges while my mom was at church meetings. i know. we were soooo bad asphalt. we meant business.
no, we DIDN'T. wait. which one do bad asphalt people do? do they mean business? or do they not care?
i don't know. whichever.
have i talked about anything of important or pressing matters? no? have i talked about anything at all? NO? good.
awesome.
do i have any news? no...
did you see glee? OMG YAY KURT!! i mean..i don't watch that show.
pfft.
i might get a new phone soon. I KNOW, RIGHT?! no one cares. but mine is all old and beat up. i'd probably use this phone forever but i bit the camera so there's a big ol' fuzzy spot and i can't take videos of pictures so there's NO POINT in keeping it forever.
and you  may be thinking, wait what? you bit the camera?
and if you're thinking that, i'm thinking...shut up...don't judge me.
but what does it matter? you'll judge me anyways.
i judge you. i expect you to do the same.
what?
no.
okay.
i'm going to go.

take luck.
bless your face. if you sneeze while going through this blog, bless you!
dododododo subscribe
peace off.
boop.


that's a long outro.

in which i become solemn from the night

GOOD WORD, READERS!
always reading my blog. always looking at what I'm doing. you wanna know what I'm doing right now?
I'm watching Apollo 13 (TOM HANKS FTW), eating Graham crackers with peanut butter, and writing this post.
i always have to be multitasking. i have no idea why. i have a short attention span, then. i guess i dunno. it's never been a problem before.
so on Saturday my friend Nita is having her birthday jamboree. she's turning fifteen. she skipped a grade because she's smarter than most people. my mom skipped fourth grade.
i skipped no grades. i'm a slacker.
even when i was a child, i only colored half my coloring pages and i'd be sitting there off to the side going "ehhhh i'm not feelin' it today, mom."
and my mom was like, "annabelle..you're like..three.."
and then i'd shrug and walk off.
ah..none of that's true. i am a slacker, though. so how are you? you feeling okay? how's your thing i should be concerned about?
good, i hope.
you look nice today. you don't even need to do your hair, you know. you're naturally beautiful.
unlike everyone else who's unnaturally beautiful.
but trust me, you're not one of them. you're special. really.
i'm sorry if that was too deep for you. but i though you'd understand.
brrr i'm cold..i always get cold when i drink chocolate milk! WHY IS THAT?! what is that? it's science. i know that.
it's getting later and later into the morning.
it's almost 2am. 1 and 2 am are the loneliest hours of the day. night. world. there's a very big silence right now. the cars have stopped passing my house. there's no music playing in the neighborhood. the dogs have even gone to sleep. i imagine some people are awake. but right now i feel just like Odyssey floating through space. alone. but there must be people out there, i want to know if there's anyone out there...however, im not going to try an contact anyone.
that's the beauty of staying up this late. mystery and the vastness of nighttime.
but um...yes. that's what i'm doing right now. i have alot less to say than usual. this is what happens when im not hyper. i get kind of depressed and melancholy.
okay, well. im going to go. you keep doing whatever you were doing.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
take luck
dodododododo subscribe.
peace off

HIMYM MADNESS AND TEXTNESS AND EGG SALAD SANDWICHNESS

hello again. i know i've just been here. but you don't know that. if you went onto my blog and started reading this post, you wouldn't go down to the bottom first! you want to be updated not look at the history of what i say. so...bloggers should keep that in mind. apologies are moot in blogland.
it's almost summer. it's spring break, now which is why im not out doing homework and banging my head into the wall.
but spring break means that normal people are buying swim suits andgoing out to public pools, jumping a a lukewarm chloriney basin of...pee...and chill in there for a while.
actually that's not what people my age are doing. wait, what are people my age doing? oh yeah. tanning..and showing off there boo...ks..they read. reading! im doing one thing right then.
i'm spending break in my house on the interwebs, reading, drawing, listening to music, catching up on PLATO.  everyone's going to come back to school all sunburned and happy. and i'm going to be completely pale and more nerdy than i already am. possible? no!
okay so. it's 5:12 right now. i have to go to mutual at 7:00. i have to play volleyball. and i suck at it. usually i just go off to the side and sit on the table while they play. but we're not combine with the boys this time, so i won't be able to sneak off without anyone noticing...don't get me wrong, mtuual is awesome. church is great, i just suck at sports and teamwork. teamwork in general is okay, teamwork where i get his in the head with a ball is different.
oh gosh. gilbert is texting me. what is he saying? he said he is sorry because he fell asleep.
it's okay, gilbert.
he's apologizing because an hour ago i texted him saying that i felt like i ate an egg salad sandwich, but i hadn't. and you know...when i send texts like that i don't expect and answer.
gilbert! texting me again! good WORD! three messages! what are you saying. he's watching HIMYM! that's the initials of the name of this show called "how i met your mother" and i am going to go watch it with him, over text.

bless your face!
sneezed, bless, you,
peace off! badadododododododo subscribe..

INSOMNIAC TALKING NONSTOP

jee-ust a small town girl! LIVIN IN A LONELY WORRRLD!!
ah! copyrighted. wait. it's okay if it's in text right? you don't get copyrighted for text? i don't think so. that would suck! i send lyric texts to my friends all the time.  i call them terics. and lyxs. mostly terics because lyxs sounds like "licks" and i don't want to like my friends. not all of them.
and of you're not getting any terics from me...you're not really my friend. Oh crap! i don't think i've sent carley a teric in a while. i should send her one! she may read this sometime. hold on. lemme...
i'll text her this journey song i'm listening to. i don't know if you've heard of it. but you may someday. i have faith in you. i won't stop believing. i'm holding on. to the feeling. okay! hang on. let me text her.
okay. it is done.
it's like two in the morning! how is she going to react! hopefully not like everyone else. hating me for the rest of my life and not speaking to me again. ughh! that would suck!
so...i dont know if you knew this but i'm writing a zombie novel. isn't that exciting?! i've been telling all these people. like...i posted it in a status on facebook last week or something. anyways, now that i've told people about it, i'm probably going to not..finish it..i've built it up so much in my mind...
NO! i must finish the epic journey of my characters in a post-apocalyptic world! or is it post-apocalyptic? is there a third act twist?
wait, did i say journey? hey! look at you, annabelle! you've looped it around. that's what a comedian told me once. i forget who. but they were like, "if you wanna do good improv always find a way to tie your last subject into your frist subject" and then i was like, I WILL BLOG ABOUT THAT! LATER!
ohhh im delusionalll...it's funny. the later it gets, the more i want to write but the later it gets the WORSE i am at writing. i make no sense and my spelling goes downhill.
my spelling is already downhill. it's smushed there at the bottom of that idiomatic hill because of my school. they gave us laptops which is where we do all our school work. im cool with that but they blocked blogspot! i cant word vomit all over the interwebs when i need to most!!
word vomit is a word i borrowed form the movie "mean girls". you should watch it. i'm surprised you haven't! what?! you don't like lindsey lohan! why? i dont understand!
i actually don't know if "word vomit" counts as a phrase. i figure a phrase is three or more words. but it's not a single word either...there needs to be a word for things that aren't classified as words or phrases.
there needs to be a word for "needing to pee"
and there needs to be a word for "un-virgin"
a virgout?
ha.
no. i don't know.
we will never know.
what's a word you need a word for? leave it in the comments...ah. im so ti-NO. im not tired actually. i woke up at 11 o clock this morning. it's all because my english teacher told my class "as teenagers your sleeping cycle is thrown off more than adults you guys shouldnt feel tired until like 1 in the morning!" and so i have accepted that, and i am living the way nature intended me to live.
as long as i'm on break.
if i lived like this during school. WHOA! i wouldn't even be awake to hear the insane things my insane English teacher says.
no, i  like my English teacher. mr. bailey. he's cool.
he's got the eyes of a madman, though.
i just yawned. is that a sign to go to bed? NO. that's a sign to start doing more things. like write my zombie book. NAW. let's not. it'd be very poorly written compared to the rest of it...
i've emailed the first couple chapters to some of my friends and they all flipped out saying it was really good. they get upset at me every once in a while. poor dears. hanging there in suspense. i don't have the heart to tell them that even if i did keep writing, i wouldn't send them chapters! as an author i'm not supposed to do that. know why?
copyright!
see there we go. looping it back around.
alright. well, ima try and go to bed.
 want to help me with my book...leave a name you want me to use and i'll incorporate it in, somehow. want your own name in there? go for it.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
dododododo subscribe.
take luck.
peace off.

let's rant about things

I'm bored again.
Hmm what to discuss...facebook...i guess. i don;t know. you have anything else we can all relate to? no. okay.
i finally went through my friends list and deleted the people i didn't talk to. i only have 186 people now. not bad, though.
uhhh...i'm listening to a site called "grooveshark". don't know about it? check it out. about 50 BILLION times better than playlist.com ever was. will be.
you know it's impossible to count to a billion in your lifetime.
lifetime..is that a channel? i don't know.
i don't know a lot of channels. i have basic..basic cable. is that what it's called? i don't know.
i don't have syfi channel. and that upsets me. more than not having the food network channel. why? because there's this show called "being human" on syfi that me and gilbert are into. and i have to wait a full 24 HOURS before it comes on fastpass.com. ah. and gilbert has the channel so he has to keep his mouth shut for that whole day.
im tryign to keep my mouth shut for a day. my virtual mouth. im trying really hard not to go on facebook each day. that's why i don't post posts before like...noon...because that's how long my willpower can hold out.
is it bad and pathetic that i've made a list of potential clever things to say as a status update? nah.
hey. they come to me, sometimes. gotta jot em down. jot down those notes.
does it bother you when i talk in short sentences like this. i feel like im doing that. maybe im not. just. subconsciously. ridiculing. myself. like always.
i guess it wouldn't be subconscious if im conscious of it. UGH! i cant spell consience. conscience. con-science? science! don't be conned! i depend on you! if you get steered wrong, we all do. our world will be thrown into disarray.
speaking of disarray...there's some people who don't think pi is the fundamental core of circles. pfft. i bet they're the same people who think Christopher Columbus didn't discover America.
pfft. psh. PSSHHH. pfft. tffp. tmmf. bmch. cich. bmmf chic. don't beep box through text, annabelle! they don't understand you.
hey do you like the new backround?
and font? i don't know if you noticed...but..it's all like..girly and stuff. i figure brighter more flamboyant colors would attract people passing through the blogs.
how would anyone come across here?
i dont know.
i just had deja vu.
man. i am going to have to spell check this thing.  blech.
okay. spell check buzz kill.
KILLED MY BUZZ, MAN! slaughtered..the fun...i hate you...
okay...i'll go. write later, probably.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you!
dododododododo subscribe!
peace off
take luck
boop!

I NOW PROCLAIM THIS BLOG AS MY WORD VOMIT BUCKET

I suppose every time i go on break at school i crawl weakly back to a blog.
I think my only reader unsubscribed so it's just me.
That's okay. This blog is just a sad empty place where i poured out my thoughts for a while.
hmm...i suppose you want some sort of an update as to how i am.
uh..
i dunno. i was depressed for about a year. not much to say. i'd have to change the name in the URL to "blog of epic EMO rants". it'd just huge mistake. so.
that's my excuse.
hrm let me see. i'm in highschool. sophmore. you could probably figure that out from looking down and then back up.
so. as of right now i say...screw the daily jounraling thing, let's just make this a ranting blog.
i have a jounral on my laptop. it's about 300 pages in size 11 font.
how long would that take to read aloud? like..400 years! centuries! i'd be dead before they got to yesterday's post.
er, entry.
good WORD. i am talking in computer speak. i will not be a normal person when i grow up.
when i sing my first born child to sleep the lullaby will be all binary.
"1010110100011110...
go to sleeep go to sleeep
go to stand by little 11010101"
hehe ah...do i not make sense any more? i know your sense of my maturity is increasing with every sentence. life is going to suck without caps lock. i mean spell check. CAPS LOCK TOO!
whoa.
WHOA!
calm down readers!! we must calm ourselves down!
wait, there are no readers. haha it's just me! just me talking to myself. again. i do this all the time. i have to go on trek this summer so the leaders are all like, start preparing by walking every day for an hour. so i do that. the problem with me, is that i'm not a normal person. i once saw a movie where the guy had to walk to switzerland to escape a death camp and the guy who helped him escape was like, "you're goign to lose your voice if you don't use it. if nothing else, talk to the trees!"
so...i feel like i have to do that too. only now that it's spring there's all these people walking around to enjoy the few weeks of good weather before the arizonan summer kicks in. and im just talking to myself.
i need a new phone.
i've only had one and it's lasted me one and three quarter years. year. of year. of a years.
ears.
of corn.
what? no. stop eating corn on the cob, readers! it'll get stuck in your teeth! we have to go to the dentist soon!
my mom got a job! yeah! i know! it sucks! now she has friggen dental care. adn she's all like, "now we can get you braces!" and i'm like..."great..."
just in time for me turning sixteen! and graduation. and all that STUFF.
it's dumb. alright. it's like...time to go. now.

bless your face. if you sneezed during this post, bless you.
 dododododododo subscribe!
peace off.