awww it was soo cute. jeremy said he loved me, yesterday.
and it was cute because he called me "anny" when he said it. Bleh. I wish i could see him in person again, :/ stupid distance.
for the past couple weeks, my heart's been all torn up. like someone put it in a garbage disposal. this is because i CAN'T love jeremy. i can't. i mean, even if i did..where would it go? i'm not saying i want to marry jeremy, but what if we progressed alot, and what if our future worked out well together? i couldn't marry him because he can't take me to the temple.
i know it's cliche to imagine yourself married to whomever you like at the time. it shows hope, and the promise of the relationship. unfortunately, even if i turn 16 and we still wanna go out...what's supposed to happen after that?
what i'm saying is; we're doomed.
and no, he's not going to convert. and even if he did, he'd do it for me and not for the right reasons. yknow?
he'd have to do it by himself, and be a good member with the priesthood before i'd be able to further any kind of relationship we'd have. and that would take FOREVER. and i'm tired of waiting. and i'm tired of knowing that things won't work out. i'm tired of being alone.
my mindset for now is to just soak up what i have now, and hopefully the memories of what i have now will help me get through what i have to do later.
but until then, i have time to be happy and just revel in the fact that someone actually LOVES me. whoa.
still trying to swallow that piece of information.
heh. kinda makes sitting here in chem class seem mundane. i wish i didn't have to go to school when i feel this alive and happy. school likes to smother the joy.
if i pretend that things between me and jeremy might work out in the end..i can feel what it's like to not have a broken heart. at least for a while.
haha all the juniors are getting all hot and bothered because of the junior bash next week. everyone's asking everyone. it's quite exciting.
i'm not going to the prom, or bash or whatever next year. maybe senior. probably not.
ahh my hands are all colorful from paint. i painted a crow. i like crows. i like birds over all. i can relate to them.
WELL. i should save radiation. i mean battery. im learning about radiation in chem..ima go...boop.
and it was cute because he called me "anny" when he said it. Bleh. I wish i could see him in person again, :/ stupid distance.
for the past couple weeks, my heart's been all torn up. like someone put it in a garbage disposal. this is because i CAN'T love jeremy. i can't. i mean, even if i did..where would it go? i'm not saying i want to marry jeremy, but what if we progressed alot, and what if our future worked out well together? i couldn't marry him because he can't take me to the temple.
i know it's cliche to imagine yourself married to whomever you like at the time. it shows hope, and the promise of the relationship. unfortunately, even if i turn 16 and we still wanna go out...what's supposed to happen after that?
what i'm saying is; we're doomed.
and no, he's not going to convert. and even if he did, he'd do it for me and not for the right reasons. yknow?
he'd have to do it by himself, and be a good member with the priesthood before i'd be able to further any kind of relationship we'd have. and that would take FOREVER. and i'm tired of waiting. and i'm tired of knowing that things won't work out. i'm tired of being alone.
my mindset for now is to just soak up what i have now, and hopefully the memories of what i have now will help me get through what i have to do later.
but until then, i have time to be happy and just revel in the fact that someone actually LOVES me. whoa.
still trying to swallow that piece of information.
heh. kinda makes sitting here in chem class seem mundane. i wish i didn't have to go to school when i feel this alive and happy. school likes to smother the joy.
if i pretend that things between me and jeremy might work out in the end..i can feel what it's like to not have a broken heart. at least for a while.
haha all the juniors are getting all hot and bothered because of the junior bash next week. everyone's asking everyone. it's quite exciting.
i'm not going to the prom, or bash or whatever next year. maybe senior. probably not.
ahh my hands are all colorful from paint. i painted a crow. i like crows. i like birds over all. i can relate to them.
WELL. i should save radiation. i mean battery. im learning about radiation in chem..ima go...boop.
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