im in chemistry. im having a pretty good day. actually. i dont know if i am. im not miraculously recovered from all that has happened. but it's cloudy!
ohhhh...that's why im better today! that stupid blinding orb of death isn't hanging in the sky. there's a breeze. there's a lot of birds hopping around.
when the weather is all weathery i feel more at peace. the world seems more shut in, and less daunting when the clouds are in between me and the rest of the universe.
udi and i arrived at the chem room, the had a sign up telling ploense's first and second hours to go to room b111. we figured we'd go and see...and then...no one was there. and then we turned around went allll the way back. freakin ploense.
i never spend much time with udi. i dont really know him. and i've never really been alone with him. im glad he wasn't rude...he wasnt a prick at all. he didn't hang back or look around awkwardly or ignore me. we walked side by side. we didnt talk much, but it was nice and un-strained. it's not much but, most guys dont do that. haha it was kinda funny. he was anxious. i figured him as the kind who didn't really care..but he was like, "you think they'll send us to sweep?!" i shrugged and said, "nah. doubt it." we are probably the two quietest kids in the class, we're not worth her time. as we walked, i noticed his hair. it's growing out. but it's curly and thick so it's got this comical bird feather hair springing up from the back of his head, waving like a flag.
we toyed with the idea of just leaving school altogether. i wonder where we would have done. neither of us drive. hm. i'd walk home, i guess. there's nowhere to go. we got back to class a couple minutes after the bell. when we walked in all the girls went, "oooodeeeeeee!!!!" and i just crept to my seat. you know..my teacher still doesn't know my name. it IS the fourth quarter i'd at least expect her to not ask me to raise my hand during the role.
it almost pisses me off. but not really. because i dont really want to be noticed. it requires left effort.
see, right now i could be doing half reaction equations and finding the resulting electrochemical cells but im blogging instead.
so..that's my victory. also i get to sit by the window. the clouds are so pretty. they're layering the sky. some look completely fake, like paint. even the colors of the trees and the dirt and the desert brush behind the softball field looks darker. it almost feels like nighttime. and there's slightly spooky about being around school at nighttime. it's almost a crime.
hahaha in art today this kid was looking at me and i asked him why and instead of directly answering me, he started talking to this girl sitting across from him. he said, "do you even look at annabelle and her eyes look empty? like she talks to you but her eyes say that she's not there?"
i was taken aback.
the girl peered over at me and i averted my eyes down to my hands. the bell rang so i didn't have time to think.
i mean..i suppose i zone out all the time...but do i really seem that far away? i try my best to seem alive. i really do.
i brought cookies from home today.
i love crows and sparrows. they're so cool. and mysterious somehow. birds are mysteries to me. whre are they flying to, anyways? do they have a destination in life or are they just...flying..?
i cant wait to get home. im going to...well, i dont know what im going to do. i just want to leave.
whatever happened to people saying goodbye by saying 'take it easy"? that's such an 80's saying.
interesting how language changes.
i think tomorrow i'll blog in every class. and just write down random thoughts through out the day.
i didn't do anything in this class. which is a shame because i'll probably fail my final. woo. well, time will tell.
until next time.
BOOP.
ohhhh...that's why im better today! that stupid blinding orb of death isn't hanging in the sky. there's a breeze. there's a lot of birds hopping around.
when the weather is all weathery i feel more at peace. the world seems more shut in, and less daunting when the clouds are in between me and the rest of the universe.
udi and i arrived at the chem room, the had a sign up telling ploense's first and second hours to go to room b111. we figured we'd go and see...and then...no one was there. and then we turned around went allll the way back. freakin ploense.
i never spend much time with udi. i dont really know him. and i've never really been alone with him. im glad he wasn't rude...he wasnt a prick at all. he didn't hang back or look around awkwardly or ignore me. we walked side by side. we didnt talk much, but it was nice and un-strained. it's not much but, most guys dont do that. haha it was kinda funny. he was anxious. i figured him as the kind who didn't really care..but he was like, "you think they'll send us to sweep?!" i shrugged and said, "nah. doubt it." we are probably the two quietest kids in the class, we're not worth her time. as we walked, i noticed his hair. it's growing out. but it's curly and thick so it's got this comical bird feather hair springing up from the back of his head, waving like a flag.
we toyed with the idea of just leaving school altogether. i wonder where we would have done. neither of us drive. hm. i'd walk home, i guess. there's nowhere to go. we got back to class a couple minutes after the bell. when we walked in all the girls went, "oooodeeeeeee!!!!" and i just crept to my seat. you know..my teacher still doesn't know my name. it IS the fourth quarter i'd at least expect her to not ask me to raise my hand during the role.
it almost pisses me off. but not really. because i dont really want to be noticed. it requires left effort.
see, right now i could be doing half reaction equations and finding the resulting electrochemical cells but im blogging instead.
so..that's my victory. also i get to sit by the window. the clouds are so pretty. they're layering the sky. some look completely fake, like paint. even the colors of the trees and the dirt and the desert brush behind the softball field looks darker. it almost feels like nighttime. and there's slightly spooky about being around school at nighttime. it's almost a crime.
hahaha in art today this kid was looking at me and i asked him why and instead of directly answering me, he started talking to this girl sitting across from him. he said, "do you even look at annabelle and her eyes look empty? like she talks to you but her eyes say that she's not there?"
i was taken aback.
the girl peered over at me and i averted my eyes down to my hands. the bell rang so i didn't have time to think.
i mean..i suppose i zone out all the time...but do i really seem that far away? i try my best to seem alive. i really do.
i brought cookies from home today.
i love crows and sparrows. they're so cool. and mysterious somehow. birds are mysteries to me. whre are they flying to, anyways? do they have a destination in life or are they just...flying..?
i cant wait to get home. im going to...well, i dont know what im going to do. i just want to leave.
whatever happened to people saying goodbye by saying 'take it easy"? that's such an 80's saying.
interesting how language changes.
i think tomorrow i'll blog in every class. and just write down random thoughts through out the day.
i didn't do anything in this class. which is a shame because i'll probably fail my final. woo. well, time will tell.
until next time.
BOOP.
That's a good idea, writing down thoughts every hour. I'll look into it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel the same way about weather. =)