prrrt.
that was my celebratory party blower for posting over a hundred times.
ANNABELLE, you're saying. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT 11 when all you've done all day is think, "im so tired i could die" ?! HUH?!
well. quite frankly. i dont know. still have alot on my mind. i talked to jeremy. again, im so happy that i can still talk to him even when im completely confused as to what i want to be to him and what he is for me. i dont have very many people who stick around. if you're reading this, you've figured out at some point (or at least i reckon) that i'm not all there. im a bit off. i've not quite caught that sting ray of reality everyone else holds int he aquarium of their minds.
see?
what the crap did i just say?
unfortunately, one who gets close to me can get the backlash of the crazy, you know? the downsides of it. how im depressed all the time, how im angry and how i like to disappear for a while. and other times i want to be carried around like a baby non-stop.
and poor jeremy. always playing all the king's horses and all the king's men.
jeremy cooks. he goes to culinary and evit. he works in a restaurant. that's interesting to me. none of my other friends really good. i hang out with the bandies and other wallflowers.
i do art. no one else is in art with me. nah, gilbert's in ceramics with me. haha he's so good at it. way better than me. he can roll the clay into a perfect circle. and he uses JUST the right amount of water. he's a perfectionist and im not. i like throwing it together. i like just messing around and sinking my fingers into the clay, watching gilbert work his magic. you know he can talk and to perfect pottery at the same time. i'm found it impossible to draw him. IMPOSSIBLE. i can draw most guys i know. especially the ones i spend hours a day with. but even after a year, i try and try and my doodle notebooks are covered in my attempts to sketch a decent picture of his face. hahahaha i cant! look, his drawings all ways turn out looking like Miguel from Maya and Miguel. sometimes i watch Maya and Miguel just because i feel like im watching gilbert. and then my siblings see me sitting on the couch grinning like an idiot watching that stupid show.
uhhhh...it's time to go to sleep.
jeremy fell asleep around 10. he's such a WIMP.
are you getting bored of me talking about boys, yet?
I AM...such a mess. in life right now. but isn't that the beautiful thing about being a teenager? just being a mess and still walking around like you're the epitome of awesome.
life's approaching as fast as a train.
life is death.
i don't wanna.
im so excited to go to enlgish...poetry..im excited to write paragraphs about poems. i want to soak myself in it. i want to bask in it! i want to fill up a bathtub with words and just bathe in it. i want to take a whole poetry class. i hate that i have soooo much to say about poetry but im not gonna speak up. i dont wanna sound like a snot. i'll right it down, though. it'll count.
i like music. i like hovering in everything it has to offer in that great nothingness.
i've been wearing my watch alot. when im resting my head on my head i can hear it. tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic...just ticking. comforting because it'll tick no matter what i'm feeling.
jeremy says some lovely things to me.
you know for the past year..year and a half..i wished that someone would just say, "it's going to be alright" to me...and he said it to me today after i ranted to him.
for a second i felt better. like my brain had turned over in my sludgy skull. sometimes someone says something small and it just fills up an empty place inside you. and thats what he does.
i like that even though jeremy's part of my anguish, he's helping me unravel my tangly head.
SHOULD WE BE HYSTERICAL?!!!!!!
sorry..thinking about toystory..
why...
okay.
well, im going now.
im so so so tired. so tired. unbelievably tired. like...so tired im thinking of things that really dont even make sense to me. mostly animals.
like llamas with turkey beaks.
and people with no feet on skateboards.
mice in suits.
cats with computer mice for tails
ZOMBIES
and a clipboard hanging in space
a girl smoking a flower with pink smoke floating in a halo around her head
a nerd with superpowers...isn't that the best thing ever?
peter parker. i liked him even before he climbed the wall.
eyes are so weird. glassy almond shaped windows into our souls.
both nita and carley have very pretty blue eyes. gilbert has giant green eyes. jeremy has brown eyes. udi has black eyes. like..onyx. like some stone. like an element. and i have weird sea colored eyes. greeny bluey grayish eyes. my mom has them too. my dad has brown eyes.
IM GOING TO BED.
i've been up for almsot 24 hours.
kay. bye.
boop of exhaustion.
that was my celebratory party blower for posting over a hundred times.
ANNABELLE, you're saying. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT 11 when all you've done all day is think, "im so tired i could die" ?! HUH?!
well. quite frankly. i dont know. still have alot on my mind. i talked to jeremy. again, im so happy that i can still talk to him even when im completely confused as to what i want to be to him and what he is for me. i dont have very many people who stick around. if you're reading this, you've figured out at some point (or at least i reckon) that i'm not all there. im a bit off. i've not quite caught that sting ray of reality everyone else holds int he aquarium of their minds.
see?
what the crap did i just say?
unfortunately, one who gets close to me can get the backlash of the crazy, you know? the downsides of it. how im depressed all the time, how im angry and how i like to disappear for a while. and other times i want to be carried around like a baby non-stop.
and poor jeremy. always playing all the king's horses and all the king's men.
jeremy cooks. he goes to culinary and evit. he works in a restaurant. that's interesting to me. none of my other friends really good. i hang out with the bandies and other wallflowers.
i do art. no one else is in art with me. nah, gilbert's in ceramics with me. haha he's so good at it. way better than me. he can roll the clay into a perfect circle. and he uses JUST the right amount of water. he's a perfectionist and im not. i like throwing it together. i like just messing around and sinking my fingers into the clay, watching gilbert work his magic. you know he can talk and to perfect pottery at the same time. i'm found it impossible to draw him. IMPOSSIBLE. i can draw most guys i know. especially the ones i spend hours a day with. but even after a year, i try and try and my doodle notebooks are covered in my attempts to sketch a decent picture of his face. hahahaha i cant! look, his drawings all ways turn out looking like Miguel from Maya and Miguel. sometimes i watch Maya and Miguel just because i feel like im watching gilbert. and then my siblings see me sitting on the couch grinning like an idiot watching that stupid show.
uhhhh...it's time to go to sleep.
jeremy fell asleep around 10. he's such a WIMP.
are you getting bored of me talking about boys, yet?
I AM...such a mess. in life right now. but isn't that the beautiful thing about being a teenager? just being a mess and still walking around like you're the epitome of awesome.
life's approaching as fast as a train.
life is death.
i don't wanna.
im so excited to go to enlgish...poetry..im excited to write paragraphs about poems. i want to soak myself in it. i want to bask in it! i want to fill up a bathtub with words and just bathe in it. i want to take a whole poetry class. i hate that i have soooo much to say about poetry but im not gonna speak up. i dont wanna sound like a snot. i'll right it down, though. it'll count.
i like music. i like hovering in everything it has to offer in that great nothingness.
i've been wearing my watch alot. when im resting my head on my head i can hear it. tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic...just ticking. comforting because it'll tick no matter what i'm feeling.
jeremy says some lovely things to me.
you know for the past year..year and a half..i wished that someone would just say, "it's going to be alright" to me...and he said it to me today after i ranted to him.
for a second i felt better. like my brain had turned over in my sludgy skull. sometimes someone says something small and it just fills up an empty place inside you. and thats what he does.
i like that even though jeremy's part of my anguish, he's helping me unravel my tangly head.
SHOULD WE BE HYSTERICAL?!!!!!!
sorry..thinking about toystory..
why...
okay.
well, im going now.
im so so so tired. so tired. unbelievably tired. like...so tired im thinking of things that really dont even make sense to me. mostly animals.
like llamas with turkey beaks.
and people with no feet on skateboards.
mice in suits.
cats with computer mice for tails
ZOMBIES
and a clipboard hanging in space
a girl smoking a flower with pink smoke floating in a halo around her head
a nerd with superpowers...isn't that the best thing ever?
peter parker. i liked him even before he climbed the wall.
eyes are so weird. glassy almond shaped windows into our souls.
both nita and carley have very pretty blue eyes. gilbert has giant green eyes. jeremy has brown eyes. udi has black eyes. like..onyx. like some stone. like an element. and i have weird sea colored eyes. greeny bluey grayish eyes. my mom has them too. my dad has brown eyes.
IM GOING TO BED.
i've been up for almsot 24 hours.
kay. bye.
boop of exhaustion.
You should totally say everything you want about Poetry in English. Half of us don't know half a third of a seventy-billionth of an idea about what we're doing.
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