as you can tell from the last post, i was up late, yo.
the wind was blowing last night. the tree outside my window was casting it's shadow on my blinds. it flickered and shimmied as if i was looking at a black fire.
i was up thinking.
i felt so terrible. still do, actually.
sometimes when we've been flirting with someone we have that moment when we realize...i don't want to do this anymore. i had that one. a giant walloping, heartbreaking, gut wrenching moment. jeremy called me last night. and i heard his voice and he called me "babe" and i got nervous (like i always do on the phone) and after we hung up i just felt...
UGH. i felt clammy. and sad. i realized i didn't want to BE, be with jeremy. i didn't want to go through it all again. and i've never really felt that special feeling towards him. but i do turn into a giant annabelley sludge when he sweet-talks me like that. this time was different.
i sat on my bed listening to music and went into sort of a coma. i didn't move and i didn't text him back...i just thought and thought. and hated myself and hated myself. why am i not madly in love with him...he's perfect...
still, even as i sit here in math class...it's eating through me.
i feel sick, almost.
after i snapped out of my coma, a few houris later i told jeremy everything. he says that it's okay. and he still talked to me this morning. i told him not to give up hope on me, because maybe by the time my birthday comes around i'll be less of a basketcase.
he seemed happy about that.
i like that i can tell jeremy everything.
so that made aims pretty intense. i'm just lucky his name didn't pop up in a word problem. haha...
sitting in that testing classroom for four hours was creepy, man. people kept looking at me..
and it was weird.
i swear. like every two minute someone would peek at me from their crossed arms or glance my direction.
and then this girl who i dont even KNOW called my name and told me my shoe was untied. her friends giggled loudly like it was a huge joke. "thank you" i told her sweetly and went back to reading.
i'll never figure out people here.
NEVERTHELESS
i love my friends. gilbert and adrienne and sara and nita...they make lunch relaxing.
they make my LIFE relaxing. jeez, it it wasn't for plato i'd be the chillest person alive.
so bye, yall. the bell's ringing in a few minutes.
OFF TO ENGLISH! poetry for the ultimate win!
bless your face, if you sneezed during this post bless you
peace off
BOOP
the wind was blowing last night. the tree outside my window was casting it's shadow on my blinds. it flickered and shimmied as if i was looking at a black fire.
i was up thinking.
i felt so terrible. still do, actually.
sometimes when we've been flirting with someone we have that moment when we realize...i don't want to do this anymore. i had that one. a giant walloping, heartbreaking, gut wrenching moment. jeremy called me last night. and i heard his voice and he called me "babe" and i got nervous (like i always do on the phone) and after we hung up i just felt...
UGH. i felt clammy. and sad. i realized i didn't want to BE, be with jeremy. i didn't want to go through it all again. and i've never really felt that special feeling towards him. but i do turn into a giant annabelley sludge when he sweet-talks me like that. this time was different.
i sat on my bed listening to music and went into sort of a coma. i didn't move and i didn't text him back...i just thought and thought. and hated myself and hated myself. why am i not madly in love with him...he's perfect...
still, even as i sit here in math class...it's eating through me.
i feel sick, almost.
after i snapped out of my coma, a few houris later i told jeremy everything. he says that it's okay. and he still talked to me this morning. i told him not to give up hope on me, because maybe by the time my birthday comes around i'll be less of a basketcase.
he seemed happy about that.
i like that i can tell jeremy everything.
so that made aims pretty intense. i'm just lucky his name didn't pop up in a word problem. haha...
sitting in that testing classroom for four hours was creepy, man. people kept looking at me..
and it was weird.
i swear. like every two minute someone would peek at me from their crossed arms or glance my direction.
and then this girl who i dont even KNOW called my name and told me my shoe was untied. her friends giggled loudly like it was a huge joke. "thank you" i told her sweetly and went back to reading.
i'll never figure out people here.
NEVERTHELESS
i love my friends. gilbert and adrienne and sara and nita...they make lunch relaxing.
they make my LIFE relaxing. jeez, it it wasn't for plato i'd be the chillest person alive.
so bye, yall. the bell's ringing in a few minutes.
OFF TO ENGLISH! poetry for the ultimate win!
bless your face, if you sneezed during this post bless you
peace off
BOOP
I kinda don't know what to say...I'm Sorry doesn't seem all that appropriate.
ReplyDeletes'ok. enjoy the book i lent you:)
ReplyDeletei think my heart just broke. sometimes, because i have no life, i let others' reality become my own. for the time being. and my heart just broke in place of yours. it's like in the hunger games... when i kept thinking LOVE THE DANG BOY already and then realize it doesnt work like that... anyways. my pretending to be broken heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteOH and the title is ridiculously clever by the way.
awwwwhh:( one broken heart is enough for the whole world. dont be sad for me.
ReplyDeleteno i was being sad in PLACE of you, so now yours isn't any more. we're still at one:)
ReplyDeleteawww noo dont be sad! D:
ReplyDelete